Apparently Jonathan Ellsworth of Blister Gear Review and Cody Townsend of Cody Townsend have a podcast. I feel like these podcast things are popular. Anyway, they asked for ski town relationship questions, and Amy and I had some, but really I'd rather ax some other types of questions instead:
1) When I was 20, I could tele 7 days a week. It's only been 21 years, why can't I still tele 7 days a week?
2) How do I build a time machine? I need to go back and salvage those two pairs of
red purple aubergine Salomon S914s from the skis that weren't worthy of the bindings before selling the skis.
3) Why doesn't Mayor Lauren (or any of her predecessors) allow it to snow more in BoyCee? 75 inches in town and 450 at the hill doesn't seem like too much to ask. Baker gets like almost 1800 inches or whatever. I may have hit the wrong unit-toggle on their snow report.
4) Why does everything hurt? We're both only in our earliest 40s.
5) How do I get people to pay me to ski while I provide nothing at all of value to them? I feel like there should be positions at ski areas for that.
6) I want access to a binding bench and an open-stone bow grinder, but I don't want to change jobs. Help!
7) Why is Vail?
8) I want my Forester to act like my ol' GL wagon most of the time except when it needs to be fancy like warm seats and lots of cupholders and modern airgoonoomics and that 6 speed (well, 4 and 2 halves). Can you go tell Subaru to do that for me? Thanks. Remind them that ABS is great when you are actually braking, but not when you're just turning corners with vim and vigor and it's snowing and the person in front of you is, um, scared, and I'll just goose er a little and HOLY SHIT WHY IS MY CAR TRYNA SHAKE ITSELF TO DEATH I SAID OFF NOT SLIGHTLY LESS ON
9) All the mainstream skis I like are expensive and instead I want custom that's more o no I broke
10) Salomon made the 747 back in like '87 and nothing since has really improved on it in any meaningful, life changing way. Maybe since you guys know people, you could have them make a run in that sexy mid 90s 997 Equipe red for me. I'm an N-9.5, but I like the symmetry of a 10, so tell them to make it 5-15 (I think the OG was 6-14, which is totally fine, but, like, FIFTEEN) so I's right in the middle, please and thanks. Also, make sure the toe is 1-2mm higher than the heel. Enough of this needing to modify bindings to do em right.
11) Or they could do it in that rad 90s Tyrolia FreeFlex 14 purple. You know the one. It had the gull wing brakes. Yeah. Totally.
12) Y'know what, I also want a ornj 'n green pair.
13) One of my favourite Christmas records from growing up isn't on Spotify. How can you help?
14) Dave Matthews wrote some decent songs 25+ years ago. What happened?
15) What's better? 20" blower on boiler plate or 6" of day-old consolidated?
16) Yer both wrong. It's July at Chinook with some tourists wondering just what in the heck yer doin.